Donkey and the Well
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.
The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They each grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.
At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer looked down the well, and was astonished at what he saw.
As every shovel of dirt hit his back, the donkey did something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed, as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off.
The Moral
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up!
Remember the five simple rules to be happy
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
O.K., that's enough of that B.S. ... The donkey later came back, caught the farmer out in the field and kicked the crap out of him. Then he went over to each of his neighbors farms and kicked the crap out of them too for helping.
The REAL Moral
When you try to cover your ass, it always comes back to get you.
The New Pastor
The new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. He took out a card, wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back and stuck it in the door.
When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, "Genesis 3:10."
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.
Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock."
Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked."
Humor Ha Ha, Funny Like A Clown.
Donkey and the Well
Chet the Parrot
One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, who could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift.
"How do I get him to sing?" the young man asked, excitedly. "Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet," was the shop owner's reply.
The shop owner held a match under Chet's left foot and Chet began to sing; "Jingle Bells Jingle Bells..." The shop owner then held another match under the parrot's right foot. Then Chet's tune changed, and the air was filled with; "Silent Night, Holy Night.."
"No, but he can sing. Let me show you." So the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet's left foot and Chet crooned "Jingle Bells..." The man then moved the lighter to Chet's right foot, and out came; "Silent Night..." The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked,
"What if we hold the lighter between his legs?" The man did not know. "let's try it," he answered, eager to please his wife. So they held the lighter between Chet's legs. Chet twisted his face, cleared his throat, and sang out loudly, "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire..."
